Regurgitation

For what it's worth (in case it matters), I edited and slightly updated this entry which is an extension of this entry which should also be edited and slightly updated for the same reasons I edited and updated the previously mentioned and linked post, but that is still more than four month old news and even though it matters, I really ought to be moving on (just don't get lost in the shuffle and time warps and even more, don't lose what was just to try to find what is because you'll never find what you're looking for if you leave too much behind).

Editing, I suppose, is mental regurgitation.

More to Say

The world is not always so easily explained or categorized which may be one way to explain why there are so many blogs coming out of this one head. See right here the example of the premise presented as if any one blog could make sense if it received a dozen or few dozen or more entries a day (what would a community site like Facebook say to that?) from an infinite number of directions. Until the plug was pulled, it was b e g i n n i n g ... a l r e a d y ... h e r e ... y o u ... s ee?

Blurry Eyes

When fatigue reaches a point that eyes blur, it is probably time to close the eyes and sleep and yet, the hunger to share, the hunger to live, the hunger to write, the hunger to care... screams out loudest in the darkest hours of the night when the words demand that I write and write and write and I don't want to fight myself or the muses that fill every shelf with the dream I used to believe in so much before I rendered myself out of touch and if this makes any sense to you... you know what to do.

Reach out if you care.

The Footrest is Up

I sit for the first time in the recliner with the laptop on my lap in the new place. This space is very different than the old space. It is an unfinished apartment with openings in the walls and ceiling. Concrete floor that I a half dozen carpet remnants on for foot comfort. Electricity is on, hopefully hot water next week. I still need to disinfect and scrub and disinfect the shower a few times before I will use it even with hot water, but especially with cold water. Lifestyle adjustments must be made when income disappears and retirement planning was cast aside for the pleasure of giving and sharing and taking care of others. I have learned from the past and have some savings this time, but not for the long term and I don't plan on leaving this life anytime soon so I will find income again before savings runs too low, but once again the bittersweet lyrics roll through my head. Never thought I'd be alone... this far down the line.

I must unpack the music.

99.99%

The move is all but done. I have one box (actually a kitchen garbage can) full of stuff that would not fit into my car today. All the cleaning items and a few more drying over the sink and that's it. Tomorrow I pick those up and drop off the keys and that place is in the rear view mirror as is living with Jackson. While she is one of the best roommates I ever had (sadly, few kept in touch for various reasons we will leave for another discussion) and she will always be family (and hopefully keep in touch, if not stay close), I (putting my convenience and needs aside so nobly like a true altruist, which is only a few puffs away from an alchemist, but that's another flashacbk for anothert time) hope she will not be back this time because that will mean the relationship with Brandi is working. We both want that more than anything (though a relationship that works for me just might nudge it out of first on my scale of most wanted things in this life, but back to reality now with the usual touch of self-mockery). Yup, the new life... starts... here.

I must unpack the music.

We interrupt this blog before it begins for this brief announcement.

Rather than ask is there no end to my madness? or even is there no end to the expansion of the written gardens? (or blogging life, I will simply state there may be no end (and apparently none in site) so let's annouce the addition of two (or four) new blogs. Paragraphs (of a sort) was inspired by the first two paragraphs written kicked back in the recliner in the new space on Sandy Lane (does the name connect?... time may tell.......) and Paragraphs of a Life even though they have yet to actually begin and we have not announced yet the two new blogs which have begun, In Case It Matters to You which is a brief daily synopsis of life as I know it (and live it) in case it matters to you and Dirt, Drama, and Details which is an expansion on the brevity of In Case It Matters to You in case the dirt, drama, and details matter to you as well.

Maybe you just had to be there.