I was really disappointed that we did not get together to share either of our birthdays the way I thought we used to, but maybe my memory is skewed by rose colored glasses and we were never as close as I wanted us to be. Still you said all the right words that we would be best friends forever and what do best friends do if not get together on their birthdays to celebrate being alive in this world. I need to say that I am sad we drifted apart so quickly.
Though it was not private or a dinner, not a special time just for the two of us, I was looking forward to seeing you at the fields before or after your game and I went off my budget and bought you a Happy Birthday balloon as a surprise in the dugout with a dancing Snoopy card (Pooh is there in spirit too) and a cupcake (your favorite chocolate peanut butter caramel). I am eating the cupcake and the balloon sits deflating in the car, kind of like my heart.
I know you work late hours and the work you do is precious and you have very little time for yourself so I do understand you not having time for me or us but I still want a moment to remind you.
I still celebrate your birthday and every day I knew you here and now in these words (and with the cupcake) cuz I love you and shout yay that you're alive. I don't want you to feel guilty, even though I know you will (stop that). You know better than anyone, I just want to be real.
I want you to know I meant the words I said. You will always be my family whenever you may need me and if you ever want to talk, be serious or serious, happy or sad, work or play or just celebrate life, or just share a moment of reassurance that you are loved and worth a lot, I will be here.
The cupcake was really good :)
Love us :)
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